Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. In fact, do you know what it is Harriet? Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. I can't! With Squeeze I'm not safe nowhere. Laura Lee Winslow: It was just a little practical joke. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. Just as I thought. Carl Otis Winslow: Look at it again, Harriette. Steve Urkel's Young Neighbor On 'Family Matters' Is All Grown Up - HuffPost Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. "Family Matters Quotes." Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. Laura: By being born first. And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. We are properly trained. Steve who? People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. Laura: Dad, you're exacerbating the situation instead of ameliorating it. 6. Steve Urkel: Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in. Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How'd that happen? I promise, okay? Laura: This is just a model, right? Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! the signs as potential pick up lines from hamilton. Judy: Were all of Dad's friends named Darnelle? Laura: Doth thou love me? I only got the date wrong on one flyer. Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. But I have feelings, too. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Uh no, Waldo, state your name. Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. Steve Urkel: Oh no! You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. [after Carl as defeated Turbo with ease, Harriette runs up to him with her purse]. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. I mean the guy's a feeb. I don't *ever* want to work for you again. Carl Otis Winslow: You look horrible. Let's just get there! You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? Lt. Murtaugh: No, because I brought him back. They just love juicy gossip. Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! The man was open all day! I never got less than than an A. Steve Urkel: So, I can't live with that! Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh really, why wasn't I told? I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. My parents play this with me all the time! Verbs are our friends. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! Laura Lee Winslow: O.k. Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? It was the most terrifying five minutes of my life, second only to watching Lord of the Dance! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It's a tradition in the Urkel family to not consummate the marriage for three months. It's fascinating. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. Ms. Steuben: No, I'm a nervous teacher! Laura: Is it my imagination or is your voice lower? I'm playing Boyd double or nothing. [Steve is eating frozen fish sticks out of the box]. Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo? Eddie: I'm sorry, Steve. Dr. Goodrich: Ms. Crawford, I am a medical doctor, not a carnival act! No. Steve Urkel: Oh, no buts! Steve Urkel: Oh, why not? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. Steve Urkel: Well, the earth didn't exactly move for me either! I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. I feel stupid! The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? Eddie: Man, I don't have time to study. [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering]. Rachel Crawford: It's okay, Steve. Steve Urkel: I'm more of a polka kinda guy. Your dad's runnin' late. I just caught her, that's all. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. Willie Fuffner: But he wasn't, so chill out ok. Laura Lee Winslow: You just don't get it, do you. Gun, Carl. Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art. What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Laura Lee Winslow: If I hadn't started that petition, none of this would've happened. Steve Urkel: King me. Carl: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? When is that party supposed to be. You think she'll really kiss Steve? Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Why that low-down-cheap-bunder-headed-mud-slinging-bush-wacking-slanderous-snake-in-a-skirt is blackmailing you! Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Laura: There's an Urkel in our defense department? Why she is woman, hear me roar. Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank. [Notices no one is there anymore] Well, I thought it was a good story. Laura: You know, I just don't get why people are so afraid of our history. Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! What did you do? Steve Urkel: Well the good news is, my dad will do the operation for you. Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. And OOHHH, and him! Was it fair that you stood your father up for bowling? Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! Urkel actor Jaleel White is launching his own cannabis brand | CNN Business Who does these things? Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]. Seems I'm having all the luck. I'm going to give you an 'A'. I'm telling you straight out, I hate this. Steven Quincy Urkel: I wasn't the one who overslept, Ms. Rip Van Winslow. When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. "Tomorrow, Dad!" You're standing on my finger! Where did you get the money for this? Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? He couldn't cover his head with his hat. I'll be in all the videos. [laughs]. I got a nosebleed at birth. This is amazing! 'Steve Urkel' Actor Jaleel White Launches Purple Urkle - Forbes Oh, the room is spinning. Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven. Stop the music! Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". Dexter Thornhill: [after being found guilty at Urkel's trial] Darn you Urkel, Darn you to Heck! I can't afford a B on my permanent record. Waldo: [Monotone while Steve mouths his words with him] Pablo was a kind and gentle creature. She lived a long and full life. Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. What do you have to say for yourselves? Will you marry me? So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: We took in $2,000 dad and we want you to have it. Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. Take out the trash Edward, "Tomorrow Dad!" "Tomorrow, Dad!" I wish I'd never done it. Why would somebody do this to me?' And you taught Cassie Lynn Nubbles, the posterchild for useless people, how to do things for herself. College Problems Student Problems Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? 4 Mar. 1. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name! 89. Laura: How long have we known each other? Carl: [Urkel Voice] In the meantime, I have to break the news to Harriette. We're starved. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled. I got fifty bucks on the Knicks. I told the janitor about our little problem here. And we practiced for six minutes! Not name your state. Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ground you for the rest of your life. Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. That's not enough time for Rambo to blow anything up. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! Lt. Murtaugh: Keep the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat! I love you more than life itself. [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Stevil was back and he was coming for my soul! Snap, Sidekick: [with the Serpents] All the doo-dah day. So you have to make every minute count. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. That's Lt. Murtaugh. Harriette Winslow: Yeah. Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. The next minute rump roast! Steve Urkel: What? [Turns and squirts filling on Carl's shirt]. Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Bushwhacker Luke: 'Cause they couldn't catch her till then! We've got cheerleaders taller than him. Bye! [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. Let me tell you something though Weasel. Addeddate 2019-09-04 04:56:23 Identifier steveurkel_201909 Scanner Internet Archive HTML5 Uploader 1.6.4. plus-circle Add Review. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Carl Otis Winslow: [after being frightened by Pablo, the stick bug] Did you see the size of that thing? Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. Me and the guys were going to have a flyer party next Saturday when you go out of town. Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! [Eddie has just realized his mistake in standing his father for the chance to go out on his date with a girl that he likes]. Laura Lee Winslow: You couldn't check out a book? STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. steve urkel pick up linesaiken county sc register of deeds steve urkel pick up lines [Pulls him into a hug]. Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. 5. [Waldo and Maxine are dancing to R&B music and professing their love for each other. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Aww that's cute. Pick a general observation about her personality. I want to know why my instructions were not followed. Estelle Winslow: Carl! I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to a sorority girl] That dress is so tight! Laura: Steve, I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd tutor Todd. Laura: Sure. Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [He walks towards Eddie and pulls out a folded flyer he took out of his pant pocket. Uh, Curtis. Laura Lee Winslow: How fast are we going now? Did you think of me while you guys were camping? Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? Family Matters: Steve Urkel's 10 Greatest Inventions, Ranked - CBR I wouldn't know what to charge. How did you know? But you know what, I find her very attractive. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. urkel-steve. "What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Rachel Crawford: When the paramedics got there, they thought SIXTY-SEVEN people had died! Steve Urkel: Actually, it was my dad who said that. Steve, what happened? From now on, no parties and no TV. Bushwhacker Luke: Me and me brother, we hate cops! Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker! Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Finally, one rainy day, I walked in dripping wet, and that same man that pushed me out, shook his head and gave me a library card. No, you're not invited. Dadadadada! [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? You'll never know how much time you'll have together. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I almost wore that same suit. Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, but only for one month. Well, name a couple. Poor Laura has worked so hard and now she has to drop out of the race. And most of all, you don't have to deal with bullies. Eddie Winslow, front and center! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, cash is so impersonal. Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! Have you taken leave of your senses? Carl Otis Winslow: Yes and that's not all. Suppose I made it happen. While he was starring in "Family Matters" as Steve Urkel, White also began a side hustle as another staple of the era's popular culture . Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well of course it's a Greek party, it's a sorority! Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. r/Unexpected on Reddit: Pick up lines as it's peak Eddie: [after he has heard her quickly renouncing her love for him] Myrtle, what's my life going to be like without you in it? Rachel Crawford: Steve, are you sure you're okay? Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. Maxine: Ugh, what is this? Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM! [Urkelbot throws robber into a pile of soupcans]. Just blacked out for a second there! In fact, I'm grounded. You understand? Steve Urkel: [panicked] um perhaps you mean "biosphere"? Laura Lee Winslow: Aunt Rachel, take little Richie, the Murphy twins are giving each other haircuts in the backyard! Yesterday he said 'get lost, Fido Face!' Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Who? Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Cassie Lynn: Becky Sue! Laura: For the last time, Steve. Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. Rachel Crawford: Oh. You ever been down to the slaughterhouse? Harriette: [sobbing] Clint is driving off and Meryl will never see him again! I'm sorry, call you next week? Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Caterer trainees. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Harriette: What for? Wa chee! Eddie: If I don't pull at least a C on my midterm exam, I'm gonna flunk Algebra. "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? Raoul is the new produce manager. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? Carl Otis Winslow: I'm not finished yet. It was right in your favorite spot. 8. No. Laura: That you'll never go into outer space again, Steve Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. His relationship with Eddie was usually better than with Carl and Laura. Ms. Steuben: That's that's not funny, Steven. That's one for the books! At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, well. Steve Urkel: How tough am I? [Willie is upset at Waldo as Laura shows up to the crime. You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. Laura Lee Winslow: [after Steve gives her a ring] This is real! Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. April 24th, Carl, I planted this fake diary because I knew you'd read it. [Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]. And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny. Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. I was kickin' butt. You are such a sweetheart. I love my Army. Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. Harriette Winslow: I know. I was just talking with your grandmother. Steve Urkel: Whoa. Wha? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Carl: Uh-oh. Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? Stefan Urkelle: Oh no, I didn't shut off the machine on time. Rachel Crawford: Steve? Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. It was your free safety. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What kind of plans? Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Laura: So do you Max, guess what, Steve rented us a limo. This is my mother. Eddie: I just did the laundry and I'm on my way out to wash the car and cut the grass. Steve Urkel to Return in Fuller House Season 4? - MovieWeb Laura: Steve, you're supposed to cook those! Laura: Well, Steve, I've been trying to convince Waldo that girls find him attractive. Laura Lee Winslow: No it wasn't. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll bet that's what the bug was thinking, too! The Most Memorable Moments From Family Matters - Looper.com 2023. [walks into the bathroom]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why don't you take the guy's next door? Do these guys have game? [Comes out and fights Willie as the students cheer for a fight between Urkel and Fuffner], [Waldo and Wille has just gotten out of class to trash Urkel's locker]. So go ahead, FIRE ME! If you hit me, do I not sneeze? Steve Urkel: Hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, oh look, it's Laura! Harriette Winslow: So Oona how are things in Altoona? Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. Why, you might as well drop a boulder on my foot, shove bamboo shoots under my fingernails, or scoop my eyeballs out with a melon baler. Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. [Eddie agrees as Mother Winslow and Harriette walks out of the living room]. Because, I already told him I do remember him. Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Forget it, Carl, it's quicksand. Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to convince his boss that using Urkelbot is a bad idea] But Sir, you and I have been to the Police Academy. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. And, he's got something that he didn't have before. Steve Urkel: [Climbs over the balcony and falls] Oh! [Steve and Carl are playing Gin Rummy when an infuriated, Eddie and Laura come into the house.]. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! And I'm sorry. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. Your grandma is gonna fight for your right to party. Eddie: [chuckling] I know this one! Three times X equals six. Steve Urkel: All right! https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo? An illustration of a person's head and chest. If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. And what about the car show last Saturday? [Carl has just gotten wind of Eddie's plans to have a flier party. I never got an 'A' before. Boyd broke my glasses. [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. Make my day! Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. Harriette Winslow: Are your parents happy with the new you? Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! Earlier Urkel's Funny Moments - YouTube Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. Cop: It's also against the law. Steve Urkel: To keep the camera on him and forget all the other meatheads. Harriette: Soon, baby. Read the card, read the card. It's not funny, it's dangerous. Laura: I mean it, Waldo. Can you help me out? Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. This isn't right Weasel. 102 Pick Up Lines to Break the Ice: Funny, Cheesy, and Cringe - Best Life I just wanted to make things better but I ended up making them worse! Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? You mother once tried bean bags. They help move along our sentences. Mucus comes in so many colors. 'Purple Urkel:' Actor Jaleel White launches cannabis brand - New York Post
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