Later on behind closed doors (especially sitting in the car while waiting for people to cross the street), and eventually in public places like coffee shops and grocery stores, he would refer to people as fat, ugly, or worthless. 37.2k Followers, 1,197 Following, 18 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) In past blog sites I wrote about random f This scenario doubles as an example of gaslighting: He was folding clothes by my bed one evening and said, Well Id never share a secret with you. I paused what I was doing and looked up, surprised, wondering where he was going with this. Narcissism 101, my friends. Until a week before their wedding when she discovers something is wrong. But Jake and Mimi got divorced in 2021. @Ramonaslefteye. Aww honey, you just thats not what I said! Ohhhh me. The answer is absolutely yes. Amazing how long it took for the truth to sink in! Both hands have independent melodies that you must differentiate between, so listeners can hear each one sing. (I remember that word so well.) (Anyone else get phrases or words rather than songs stuck in their heads?) Nothing to fear, because fear cant coexist with perfect Love. You dont say! Only when that phrase appears on page 3. Seriously, DONT. Many times Id come home to $300+ of Whole Foods groceries in the fridge. On TikTok, Jake has several videos with a total of roughly 61.7 million views. The things this man put her and her family through is so intriguing and heartbreaking. ), and have loved it . Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. We dont belong to sin or the world. The first round back in 2015 started with breaking down my fences, telling myself the truth, and exploring whats on the other side. On a small scale, Ill do a mental scan of my upcoming week. Everything is fine., (I watched Jane the Virgin obsessively for multiple reasons, a big one being her developing her identity as a fiction writer.). Jake and Mimi have protected the privacy of their data. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. You in the beginning.. Something Was Wrong: A Podcast About A Woman Who Called Off Her Wedding With A Sociopath | by Carrie Wynn | Fearless She Wrote | Medium Write Sign up Sign In 500 Apologies, but something went. Why did Mimi And Jake Gravbrot get divorced? The vileness of words spoken in the final couple of months, contrasted with the soft, loving words that originally sucked me in made me nauseated. This is why isolation vs. community involvement is a big factor here. I said when can we start?! (Imagine that going down in 2018. Eventually, I became one of those things weighing him down and needed to be more aware of it (according to his friend Kimmy Jane Powers). According to Omari Salisbury, the converging media allegedly fired Jake Gravbot when unnamed sources said they were protecting him. They looked too harsh. I would also have to memorize the entire piece well enough to not freeze and draw a blank in front of crowds. Calling them accomplices in the oppression of a victim and pointing out that theyre devaluing the victims life in favor of the abusers might get me some backlash and Im just not ready or qualified to enter that ring.). What if exposure isnt such a bad thing? episodes discover Most Recent October 20, 2022 43 min Download S14 E1: His Moods Really Swing What was wrong, and how could I fix it? 3 for any nerds curious.) Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. He would flip things quickly on anyone who dared question him. A subreddit for snarking on fundamentalist Christianity and extreme Christian views. Im thankful for this past year, because my God is quickly turning a dark time completely around into something beautiful. Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. With things being different, this means the stage is being set for those who have felt displaced, in waiting or unseen, perhaps with a story or passion but no clear platform for it. I remember early on in our relationship, he handed $20 to a homeless person we walked by and later told me he kept 20 dollar bills in his pocket at all times for those exact opportunities. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts! Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w Listen Later. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. When I tried to explain that I tempered my excitement after noticing he seemed down and I didnt want to be insensitive, he shook his head like I was being silly and trying to cover something he could see right through. He was so soft. He had an uncanny ability to read my thoughts and discern my feelings. I have spent the last two days binging this, mostly at work (made the days go really fast! Internet armchair experts can put their thumbs to work all day long declaring the red flags I should have seen right away. Think more Brittany Dawn than Rodrigues. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? All I remember is apologizing just to end the mess, him chuckling at my overreacting while continuing to fold clothes, and our night moving on. (Opus. A classic N doesnt want sympathy because they view themselves as above it. Take me back to the beginning every single day. Theyre doing the heavy lifting when it comes to compiling my story for the public, not just for its sheer shock-factor, but because Im far from the only victim of psychopathic abuse. 10 no. When it was clear we were spiraling out of control, in His consistency God abided by His own rules and sent someone without sin to shed blood for us, so we wouldnt have to keep sacrificing flawless animals the Old Testament way to approach Him. Welcome to a spiritual war. There are days Im content in that, and days I just want it to look different and throw a grownup fit. We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we do the things we were put here to do. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. For those who are unfamiliar with psychopathsand narcissists, this is one way they succeed while minimizing damage visible to the public eye. Our minds are incredible in their design when it comes to trauma. Me a little smaller than before. Like she belongs to US and then YOU after marriage. 17-12-2018 Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. I enjoyed my life and MYSELF when this tall man dressed in a red suit holding a pitchfork showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to lose it and see myself as worthless. Pride is a false protector. When my community (called a bubble by someone) felt something was wrong and told me to be praying with them, I didnt know what else to do but get on my knees alone that Friday night and read the Names of God out loud. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. I just listened to season one because Amazon podcasts referred it to me :) I had similar thoughts. It is that simple. The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. I know all too well that I couldnt have rescued myself. I was in shock for several blocks while he bounced up and down in the drivers seat like a big kid in a puddle. (God forbid should observers figure out I have no idea what the hell Im doing.). I had been slowly and systematically brainwashed over several months to question my reality and believe I was a piece of work, so there was a lot of repair that needed to happen. One of many is a phrase that loves to sneak its way in if I dont fight it. Our convictions are woven tighter and our testimonies grow more powerful. Ive seen friends I grew up with walk away from church and I firmly believe this had a lot to do with it. I listened to season one with Sara and Dick and thought of this sub. You will be inundated with why I love this company and my job. There used to be a grating feeling in my gut that I was destined to attend womens luncheons and exchange flower pots until a young single pastor arrived and gave me my purpose. Follow Sara Lewis on Instagram @SpaceandPurpose Check out Sara's Blog spaceandpurpose.com Something Was Wrong Podcast, featuring Sara's story Rather than bottle everything up and ruin our lovely afternoon together, I shouldve communicated better in order for him to simply explain so we could move on. (I made brave choices while crying in the corner of a kitchen floor; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of bravery.) Terrifying, simultaneously, to see how this strategy operates and deceives intelligent and discerning people. I got that vibe too absolutely. Broken Cycle Media is the company behind the well-known podcast. Tell everyone on your staff to treat Mark McKinnon like a contagious disease. I walk a line with choosing to blog about my real-time process, teetering toward avoidance when that process hits a bump in the road called full clarity and the resulting fury. He, meets me. He has a company named Jake Gravbrot Photography, and in addition to doing hair, he also works as a concert and landscape photographer. I was told this past week that when were wearing rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. The other day, a line from one of Steffany Gretzingers songs was floating around in my head all day. Its ok, you dont need to make excuses. A gaslightingvictim is fed just enough truth to make them more accepting of a lie, like hiding a dogs medication in a treat. Enjoy it., It wasnt until my vocal instructor countered my argument of the day with a phrase that rang in my ears for years to follow: You need to get over yourself.. The Bouge family narrowly escaped the Jonestown massacre November 18, 1978. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. The excitement quickly faded when unexpected flashbacks accompanied the unboxing of last winters clothes, and with each cooler day, I started digging my heels into the ground to slow down the deja vus invading at random times. Im sorry, podcast listeners: It was in that same Blue Bottle on a Thursday afternoon that I saw one of the letters Bryan and Kimmy sent me on his laptop screen. For years, my MO has been to sit back and wait before acting. Or we tell ourselves its the best well get. Is it time yet? It breaks my heart. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. My ex could quote Scripture backward and forward, hold theological discussions with church leadership, and was quick to deconstruct the flaws in any given churchs infrastructure. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! Her grandmother passed away in 2009. You have all these moving parts literally every digit is moving but dont ever allow fingers 2 and 5 to physically lift from the keys while playing because those notes are tied. (You will get caught.) Scripture says we were crucified with Christ and are new creations. One day, I would hear a speech on budget and how were broke because Im so expensive or spend so much. 00:02:56 - When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. In private, (more as time went on), there was a heaviness or something often weighing him down that I felt the need to support. Season 9 of Something Was Wrong features the story of two survivors, Danielle and Kenji, who were brought together by traumatic life circumstances to solve a shared mystery - who the f*ck is Ardie? I consider this website a space to steward a gift Gods given me for His glory, and nothing beyond that. Jenna Dewan Leaving The Rookie Rumours: What Happened To Bailey Nune. When I saw that print in the store, someone with me tried to shoot it down the second I reached out to touch and look at it. Its very real. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.. No Victim Shaming or Victim Blaming. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? Despite being encouraged in music my entire life and told I was a natural, I believed internal lies that said I was faking it. I had zero idea how Id measure up in any way to the groups of strangers my age who didnt talk like they spent summers reading books or watching black and white movies. I have nothing to lose by sharing His story but maybe some pride, which I have to kill. They move on to their next conquest, leaving behind a shell of a person who thinks their lack of direction is their own fault. Not my service or even faithfulness with what He gave me before He has my attention first. Enough to let go and be free. linktr.ee/spaceandpurpose Posts Reels Hope: the day light broke through the trees and warmth poured in. I'm pretty damn passionate about the enneagram. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. Same! I know God literally commands us to be at peace and find joy even in terrible events; I just couldnt help but feel like joy would be a dismissal of the travesties, the economic and political devastation, worldwide deception, division and all-out spiritual war happening. I have a point to make with my past that I will shamelessly vent here now: perhaps we shouldnt devalue the gravity of the Cross by continuing to wallow and call ourselves sinners, though Im no seminary student. Seems sus. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. Forward to that night lying in bed: I was contemplating the existence of mankind (I know; Im not kidding) and I straight up wondered, Why? Was there truly nothing but you, God, and you decided all of THIS was a good idea? He agreed to wait it out a little bit but things were precarious. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats all He wants. Air is huge. Their stories will be told in an episodic format meaning more inspiring stories and less cliffhangers. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. (I remember a breakup years ago where I showed up to his house ready to set us both free, and when he immediately called it, I threw him off by breathing a huge sigh of relief and saying oh thank God through happy tears. Hed research and educate himself on whatever it was so he could talk about it with me. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably, , confusing, and overwhelming? I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. The mission of the []. Jake afterward moved in with his stepdad after his mother later got married. Charts. Weve been stretched thin, poked, prodded, pushed, provoked but not brought to our knees as a whole. If you are a man & want to discuss anything like mental health, suicide, therapy, or addiction, my email is always open. They use the good to outweigh the bad, especially if there are no outward signs. My exs crocodile tears and contorted face felt disproportionate to the moment and the amount they were giving. If I was a gossip, help me see and change it. In a recent interview with Trae Holiday, Omari Salisbury, a co-founder of Converge media, discussed Jake and his interactions with the press. During the second half, I had the opportunity to sit in the audience and feel their engagement. You will see me use language like "saved wretch" because I'm a Christian who remembers sanctification is progressive & my salvation is secure while God finishes His good work. When Sara got engaged, she thought that she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. That was a very basic version of why I kept going and didnt run for the hills when little things shifted. ! instead of Oh Happy Day or something. For those who are in recovery and by some chance are reading this, gosh I hope this stream of raw consciousnesshelps in some way. Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. Just started #SomethingWasWrong season 5, & it's people sharing their experiences from toxic churches/modern Christian cults& more & more I'm feeling led to write a book about my own 5-year journey in what was essentially a cult, how it damaged me, & how I finally broke free. Listen on Apple Podcasts Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher His toxic work environment was taking a toll. The weirdness would wear off and wed have a blast. (Im generalizing. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. I've been lucky enough to design experiences, lead teams, and launch businesses that have changed the world we live in today. Jesus did all this so we could be restored to our Father. Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. Something Was Wrong's 14th season contestant Jake Gravbrot was married to Mimi Gravbrot. When we were Voxing in the car and you were with your roommate, I could hear the happiness in your voice. During my commute Ive been blasting the song Heroes by Amanda Cook from her album The Voyage, and every time she sings you taught my feet to dance upon disappointment, I burst with more emotions thanwhat should probably be considered safe for driving. So, that felt oddly relieving. I havent always written about heavy topics like abuse recovery, but after coming within 8 days of marrying a sociopath, my day-to-day thoughts and life took a massive turn. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. Something Was Wrong Podcast now has 50.5k followers, 39 posts, and 179 followings on Instagram. I am not licensed to diagnose, but trusty ol Google checklists for APD and Sociopathy fit my experiences nearly 100%. Not just for us, but for those that hear our testimonies, I think it looks like freedom. Youll see information about Young Living and probably food, cause it matters to me and Iplan my travels based on the destinations snacks. He used no harsh language whatsoever. Cali Trepp and Tomas Buenoss Relationship: Find Their Dating Life And Where They Met? Then it uses those keys to wreak havoc where trust was carefully built. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. something was wrong podcast sara picture. Because Jake Gravbot remarried Mimi Gravbot, they are no longer together. I have a hard time separating my ideas of others dreams for me vs. my dreams for myself. Their stories will be told in an episodic format meaning more inspiring stories and less cliffhangers. And the idea of parents having that level of control over a 30 year old woman made me sad. While I see major positioning and personal growth happening, and how God rescued me from an incredibly dangerous situation, Ive felt forced to wait, having lost a life I loved through no fault of my own. Just recently I remembered his family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in Colorado. Coming to a podcast near you that will knock your winter socks off. Story of Dick & Sara has me reeling! If its His word, He will back it and ensure it doesnt return empty. He didnt just splash those people; he completely drenched them and had to have ruined their days. Pretty dang quickly. ), Through that book, God mended me in ways I never expected and might previously have resisted had I not been desperate for something to tell me who I really was and why all of me was important. Nothing will hurt you. As my faithful poet Chris Martin says, Lights will guide you home.. I was just over here trying to plan a wedding in 3 months determined to do it with a fraction of a normal budget. Ok thats wild fast! For the first time, I ignored this person and put it in the cart without even knowing why, because I never buy prints. I realize thats not fair to them- it shows a lack of respect for their ability to make room for me in their lives and its not fair to anyone who needs the encouragement. If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. Baseball is Jakes favorite sport, and he supports the Seattle Mariners. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Listen Now Season 12 What will we attempt when we no longer see our lack, but His potential? I must have looked nuts, laughing and assuring him Id never been better while he tilted his head and looked at me, asking if I was ok. THE PURPOSE - 100% of profits from each garment sold are contributed to a socially conscious artist grant program. Your body is exhausting itself, constantly on edge/in fight-or-flight, trying to figure out your footing and what is up vs. down. In fact, many times he had opportunities to share grace and love with those who had differing beliefs, and instead he cornered and shamed them, calling them out. (My piano teacher would laugh at that now because of a comment I made about it while facing each other from across two grand pianos.). Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Check out Sara's personal blog, Space & Purpose. Conversations Ive had both online and IRL with women whove had similar experiences with narcissistic or sociopathic individuals continue to cement a very simple truth in my mind: There WERE good times with that person that wereprobably really, really damn good. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? I cant continue to sacrifice words Ive been given at the risk of having them misunderstood. Not everyone fit this mold, but highschool me received it this way.) . When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. No bruises to show for their huge act of leaving and tearing their family apart. First, however, I had to allow Him to pick up the pieces of a shattered sense of self, and reconstruct my concept of what I have to contribute to the world around me. I think the podcast has inconsistent storytelling, but overall I think it's a good podcast. You know how you can buy a car you never knew existed, and suddenly you notice them everywhere? I opened my Bible and was just kinda flitting through Isaiah with these but where is the joy, God? thoughts, and my eyeballs landed on Isaiah 55:12. Quite honestly, knowing the waves of clarity waiting on the other side, I would walk through that valley again. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as The Bubble. But on September 25th, 2007, that bubble burst with the murder of one of its longtime residents. He claimed he could say things like that because he used to be fat too. My experience just has a little Dateline flair. Jake Gravbrot Bio, Wikipedia, Age, Wife, And What Was Wrong In Season 14? I could hold conversations, but knew something was broken and my mind was doing its survival thing by blocking out and shelving trauma. If you are not interested whatsoever in chemical-free living or getting toxins out of your home products, dont click the Young Living tabs. Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. He would shed actual tears when we would sit together watching movies or just cuddling on the couch, and I would think geez how damaged are you that this moment means this much? Something in my gut turned. Broken Cycle Medias owner and founder, Tiffany Reese (lookieboo), has more than 51.5k Instagram followers. Apple Podcasts unveiled the season 14 audio trailer for "Something Was Wrong." on 13 October. He finally has our full attention. S1 E2: It Was Weird. Claim and edit this page to your liking. I've been lucky enough to design experiences, lead . Anyone who knows me well knows that I play devils advocate for just about anyone. It was just a misunderstanding! Definitely worth a listen if not simply for seeing how problematic the religious beliefs discussed are and how they primed this woman for a deceptive and emotionally abusive relationship. We went about our work date, my heart racing and mind running wild. Somehow hed known this comment would get under my skin. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. (IM SORRY JOHN & STACI I blatantly judged your book by its cover. We were at Blue Bottle in Oakland when he called someone fat out loud well within earshot of that person, and I began scanning the doors for my exit strategy. I had been duped and thereis something better. 6h. It is out of those days that our roots are deepened in their search for water. Or experiencing fulfillment. Ive seen it reap destruction and keep people captive from chasing their potential. I believed that charming, selfless man would come back he was just under some stress today. Weddings ARE expensive, after all. Read reviews and listen to Something Was Wrong on Chartable. Please modmail us with any questions. Your preferences, feelings, quirks, looks, secrets, weaknesses, strengths they all matter. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. Yikes. No backhanded comments or sarcasm. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. I listened to the Sarah and Dick arc and I feel like Sarah herself has a lot of fundie lite beliefs and either she or the host didn't seem willing to acknowledge how those beliefs prime women to accept abuse from their partners. Its not gonna just go away.). Minor fundie drama + a little dear john creepiness in this podcast. When we receive the gift of what Jesus did for us,He isnt looking at our shortcomings, so why should we? Im 1 of the ppl screaming "whats his real name? Better to go unnoticed than not measure up. Its taken me nearly a year to break apart and analyze every mystery, every gut-punch, every moment of confusion. We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. It can start to manifest as headaches, aches and pains, fatigue, a lowered immune system, etc. This season, 11 incredible survivors share their stories of shocking life discoveries and the recovery from them. With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to. Learn more about your ad choices. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably wrong, confusing, and overwhelming? (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? Kelley And Lizzy Musi Still Together In 2022? Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Humans are hardwired to need a vision, a hope of something more, something bigger than ourselves to invest in and be part of. What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? I was watching Richard Grannons youtube video on Covert Narcissists and found it to be one of the most well-rounded explanations Ive seen. Hed lied to his family about my job, inflating my position and giving me a title Ive never had. Surely if hed written those letters he wouldnt be sloppy enough to leave it open on a laptop hed be letting me use? Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Women are excellent at busying themselves going about duties and often sacrificing those little girl dreams in the process. Hatred is a powerful word I refuse to carry with me, but last Saturday morning as I was taking screenshots for my story, new disgust churned in my stomach. The blood Jesus shedcovers our sin andHe no longer sees it. It costs relationships. Its a new effort to come to the Lord and let Him be something new to me: the place I bring my injustices and frustration. If they trust me with something, I hold it close.