She would rather donate or sell items (and she doesnt need the money) that were my fathers instead of ask either me or my sister or either of our sons if they would like to have something of my fathers. What people in your situtation need to realize it is not all about you, there are children, grandchildren, in-laws. Here's what I learned through the pain, and what I hope to share with others. My dad sped up the selling of the house and ended up moving in with his girl friend in May after I graduated. All I can say is that there are many reasons why we want to date and go on with our life. . My dad was on CLOUD 9! I understand that everyone needs someone, But i dont think it should be forced on the surviving kids/ relatives, at least not till their ready. I would go during the day and he would come around 4 to relieve me. I did because I loved him and felt so very sad for him losing mom and dealing with his own cancer. I was still uncomfortable, but slightly more accepting of the situation because (1) a little more time had passed since my mothers death, (2) the new girlfriend was actually my fathers age, and (3) at one point my father had said: Dont worry, she doesnt have any kids!. It made me sick. She's had this stability for three decades, she's forgotten who she even was without him. Maybe I am looking too much into this. Giggling and judging other people to make themselves feel superior. My father is dating after my mother died - Want to meet a good Everybody has to eat, and it is an intimate exchange. Cut the toxic people out of your life early because they will only bring you down. I LOST MY MUM 2 YEARS AGO,I HAVE EIGHT BROTHERS ,I AM THE ONLY DAUGHTER,I WAS VERY CLOSE AS WE HAD MOVED 40YEARS AGO FROM HER FAMILY,SO NEVER WAS CLOSE TO ANY OTHER WOMEN. Should I try to truly deeply understand them more? Remember him WITH her - try very hard to remember little things. No good way to treat it. . My dad was cleaning up the house to sell because my mom and I were planning on living together when he moved to his girl friend across the country. Who is a wonderful and caring person. I dont want him to make a huge mistake. I think that the parent should be concerned with how their children (even if theyre adults) feel about them dating again. My dad passed in 2004 and my stepmother inherited nearly all of my mothers nestegg intended for her children. Not once did she admit any wrong doing or remorse for her callusness or for disrespecting my mothers memory. It crushed me that he could feel my resentment but I remember how angry I felt and how it felt like my world, my family unit was being invaded. All her sisters have families and are married She has never been married and has no children. I love my dad and he is a great dad but hes not handling this well and hes a crappy husband. I know it is selfish of me to feel this way and my dad deserves to be happy. And in this time my dad has changed. Im not sure if it was curiosity or what but we agreed to meet them for dinner and a movie. I know jealousy is very likely, but my mom and dad were married 48 years and I was very close to my mom. my parents were married for 42 years. Her whole carpet got ripped out from under her. We had a good relationship with each other. WebMy father is dating after my mother died - Find single woman in the US with mutual relations. One was Next time do a proper job and Whatever you do never ever tell her what happened. It occured before they were fully living together.He knew she would humiliate him over having a weakling daughter. I thought he was a grown adult. The hardest part of losing my mom has been my dad moving another woman into our family home where we grew up. That is why I really cant feel bad towards this womanif it wasnt her, it would be someone else. We moved slowly within the relationship as we were concerned about his grieving process and that I become comfortable with the process too. We had offered to have my Dad live with us and had been planning renovations and adjustments to our home. I hate the fact that someone like her came into our lives only to get what she was after for many years. Dear Susan Musselwhite, I hear you and I get it. And he once told me how it had been weeks since I even hugged him. Just a couple weeks after her death I found out that my dad received pictures of Young Filipino women, 3 different women, and on top of that it was from a distant family member whom divorced my aunt and remarried an American Filipino women. From the get-go me and my siblings had qualms about his relationship. It just doesnt compute! I will never tell them their feelings dont matter. Would I want the man to tell his daughter that they had to get over it and deal with it? after Hi, Julie. I dont agree with certain behavior of some of the parents: comments about physical description, lovey dovey demonstration in front of your family, this thing has to be deal with at the moment that they occur or soon after. I lost my mom on March 24, 2008 after her very hard fought battle with colon cancer. Hi, please somebody help me this is unlike anything Ive been able to find on the Internet. She fought so bravely, and had pockets of success, only to be followed by a very quick decline (3 weeks from notice of having months to live). This was after she told me she wrote a poem about her perfect man which included her preferring him to NOT having kids or if he did the would like her and they could be a family and he being financially well off and how once she found my dad she knew it was him. Over these three years ive feel as the world is a very lonesome place without her and what i thought was a tight family was false. I will never be the mother of my future step-daughters nor do I want to be. I'm just saying it is possible to have that high of a bill. My husband understands that his father needs this companionship and is not angry with him for wanting to be with this woman. It is the next normal step n a solid relationship, but it is not in their view. He is planning on having some woman, who he has only met less than 2 months ago on a chat messenger program, stay in the house and attend our Thanksgiving family function (the first one since my Mom passed away, which is almost too hard to bear right now). In my case so far all my teenage and adult life. Whatever it may be, it is important to remember that there is a purpose for each person who enters and exits your life. I realized that you dont move past ityou go through it, and you continue to go through it, like youre paddling in a canoe through a muddied river. She is a horrible stupid butt who my dad even called psycho the other day yet continues to torment me with putting her shit all around my mothers moms house who of course both are dead. At the time my Dad was vulnerable, miserable and lonely. Grieving is not something you should ever do alone. I have been dating a man who lost his wife to cancer and let me tell you I feel like I have committed a major crime for dating this man so soon after his wife died. His whole personality has changed and I just cant adjust to it. The only person responsible for your happiness is you. My dad starts seeing a woman from his work THE NEXT friggin day, I hear them have sex the first week after mom dies, this has been very traumatizing to me and my grieving. I asked where is this all coming from he says he has the need for speed. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Yes thats right 9hours could be more. My dad said they were just cleaning, but they werent doing his office stuff, the kitchen counters and other spaces less tied to my mom. I am sick to death of reading on all these grief websites that life goes on, no one is expected to spend their life alone, blah, blah, blah. On this point I beg to differ. Finally, we had a 3 hour discussion where I was able to say how I felt about everything for the past 8 years. I'm so, so sorry for your loss- You sound like an incredible and caring family, and losing a member of that family must be really difficult for all of you. He didnt tell any of us- he just did it. I used to just let her say pretty much whatever she wanted, but Ive gotten to a point where if I dont agree with her, I just let her know it. Regardless of all my feelings though, a daughter cannot fill all the emptiness that is felt. Then he met the one we didnt, not because we didnt try because we did. I'm sure there are other Redditors who have experienced something like what you're experiencing, too, and would be willing to talk. I miss my husband everyday and would love for my son to be able to grow up with his father, but I know my husband would want for my son to grow up with a happy mother. I found out that life wasnt over, that I could laugh again, that I could feel almost like the happy person that I have always been, and that it was a possibility that I could be happy again with someone else. I understand he has to get on with his life but he picked the first thing that came along and I think he feels like he has to settle because of his facial/body disfigurments. Seeing my father sneaking across the landing at night was excruciating. My husband and I were so shocked that we got sick. Then I remember my mom saying the second wife always gets treated better after several of her friends husbands remarried after losing their spouse. Listen to them, support them, be there for them as much as they will let you, and pray, pray, pray. Mom put to death at her own request after murdering her 5 kids This story has been shared 97,343 times. Shortly after she moved in with them, our father who was suffering from Alzheimers Disease/dementia was transferred to a nursing home close to our parents home. Try going to the movies, the shooting range, yoga, a football game, the aquarium, or some other activity that she loves. A relatively straightforward residential eviction lawsuit, through trial, can cost upwards of $5,000. I dont want my dad to be sad or lonely, but his wife of 54 years, the love of his youth is gone. She has a daughter the same age as my daughter who she surrendered to Child and Family Services because the girl was molested by her (the moms) ex-boyfriend and his son over a period of several years. I just read the most recents posts.If you read this and think you can give me advice, please do. Read my previous posting (number 57, on Octber 6th.). Plus I told my Mom to not trust her and My Mom would say she is ok, she kept coming over , and I can not go over to see my Dad with out her coming over . Perhaps our dads feel guilty somewhat for things that were left undone with their deceased wives and this is their second chance to do it right. You need to figure out how to be self-supporting instead of relying on me to take care of you. Last spring my Mom was killed in a car accident. When my sister died, my father filled out all of the paper work on his own, and it definitely made him more depressed. For him, its not good enough that we have a nice relationship with her he wants us to be one big, happy, loving family. You are married and have a child. I met this wonderful man who I could talk very easily about my feelings of lost of my late husband and he could do the same with me. Thank goodness for social media, it helps a little. He would tell me that I am just bring emotional. I dont think that is asking for much, but I am in a place now, where I think I am going to have to cut him out of my life. support my mother after my father passed away Can you find a friend who will just listen and not judge? It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres. She moved to Silicon Valley in 2017 to help start YouTube's Public Figures business, a team that helps traditional celebrities and TikTokers start YouTube channels. I just want to thank everyone for their postings. My sister feels the relationship started way before we found out about it. My mom died Nov. 22, 2008 and one of her friends that gave remarks at the funeral is now pursuing my Dad. Just won the divorce seem to be near to an end, my mother passed away unexpectedly from an aneurysm. So it could give you all a place to work out your many feelings. It will do no one any good, it needs to be organic. What does this new lady have? People will die; people will leave, and sometimes, they just decide they no longer want to be in your life anymore. Now a word to those of you that think your dad or your mom or whoever is moving on too soon, and cite for evidence it has only been 2 years, or 5 months, or 1 year, or whatever. Too say that I have issues with it would be an understatement.